Somethin' about nothin'

When did we all learn how to start a zipper? Preschool? Kindergarten? I have been able to start and zip since I can remember. So why is it that over the last year my ability to start a simple zipper resembles that of a 3yr old? I don’t get it.

I’m home alone, the dog is begging, it’s cold out, and every single casual jacket or sweater that I own has a zipper. I’m screwed! I spent 15 minutes trying to get my zipper started, gave up, and held my sweater closed for the next 20 minutes while I walked the dog in the cold wind. Is it any wonder why I can’t seem to shake this nasty cold?

After we finished our walk, I went through my closet on a mission to test every single zipper I own…and I could not get a single one started. Have I digressed that much? I’m not even 40 and I’m already having trouble. What will happen when I’m 50? Will I be forced to wear cushioned mittens as a safe-guard from accidental self-inflicted wounds?

Okay, so that may be a bit of an exaggeration…I hope. What I do know is that I feel silly asking my 17yr old daughter or my love to zip my sweater or jacket for me. Does anyone know where I can get “How to Start a Zipper, for Dummies”? I can’t seem to find it on Amazon.

For now I guess I’ll swallow my pride, ask for help, and start to convert my wardrobe to buttons. Yes, you heard me…I’m moving to buttons.